Hi,

I am not sure if this group is still active, but I thought I would give this a try rather than post to a random dream forum online with elements of dubious credibility.

I am interested in a dream I had last night about a cemetery.

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In the dream, my husband and/or parents were remodeling an upstairs balcony of our home for me as a kind of gift. I think I had wanted or asked for this in some kind of way, but it’s not clear. In doing the remodeling, they destroyed a cemetery that I treasured on that balcony. The shape of the balcony was a semicircle extending over the lower floor. It was like a rooftop garden. I used to love to see the morning light on the gravestones. It gave me so much happiness. My heart ached when I saw what had been done. Not only that, by the new structure they had placed over the cemetery on the upstairs balcony was so heavy it was causing the upstairs balcony to lean forward, as though it was unstable. I knew I should express gratitude, but I also felt frantic because I didn’t know what had happened to those historical gravestones. I wondered if I could find them.

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The reason this interests me is because I have a love of cemeteries in my waking life and several years ago, a time when I felt this interest very deeply, I used to travel a lot to historical cemeteries in our area to photograph them. I had a few but vivid dreams of cemeteries years ago, around that timeline. In those dreams, I found a new historical cemetery nearby or remembered that there was a historical cemetery on our property and was filled with this kind of happiness walking there that seemed like a happiness more intense than I have ever felt in my actual life.

I felt compelled to seek others’ interpretation of this dream because there was a lot preying on my mind when I went to sleep. I ended up waking in the middle of the night and not sleeping well. There are a few different things, so I didn’t know if I should share them and potentially bias someone’s interpretation. 

If anyone is able to share their thoughts, I would appreciate hearing them, because I do feel like I’m at a kind of decision point, and I feel like the dream is communicating something. 

Since paying attention to our dreams often has been relegated to the back burner in the 20th century, it makes sense that over the years various peculiarities have surfaced regarding this most potent expression of feelings. Haven't you been warned that if you dream of falling and you hit the ground, that means you'll die? We'd bet that you've grown up fearing that if you dream of someone else dying, that means they will. Or that if you have a steamy dream about a family member, it means you should blush every time you see that person, or that you should take the dream message literally as an event that actually occurred in waking life. Place on top of that the burden that you've been taught that dreams shouldn't be shared, that they should be kept under wraps, and what you're left with is a scary, or at least puzzling, mess.

Can you separate the dreamer from the dream?
Whose dream is it, anyway? If we take the position that dreams are not visited upon us by some greater being, or that for the most part our dreams are not paranormal, then we can acknowledge that we are the creators of our own dreams. There are people who strongly believe that they've received messages from deceased relatives in dreams, from angels, or from God - and there is much research into the realm of the paranormal dream. However, most of us tend to have dream experiences in which the dream arises from within us to express something about us. The symbols, puns, imagery, characters, and actions within a dream are products of our hopes, fears, memories, and current experiences.

**
Can't recall your dreams? Ask yourself, "Do I want to know what I dream?" If you're feeling anxious or frightened, you might not be ready to face the emotions encoded in your dreams. Think about what may be scaring you. Be patient. Just as you're in charge of creating your dreams, you're also in charge of how quickly and how much you remember them.

Don't mean to clutter this beautiful page with a meager introduction, but I wanted to say hello to any member still floating about in cyber-space, and also, mention that I hope people's interest in the group might pick back up again, because I find it is a very useful group to have in the community.

-S

Through the Looking Glass

In Lewis Carroll's Through the Looking Glass, Alice is driven to a state of near distraction by Tweedledee and Tweedledum, who each insist that Alice is not real, that she's merely a piece of the Red King's dream. While in this case the blurring of boundaries may have been a function of substances that altered the author's state of consciousness, Alice's struggle raises an important question: What is real? Can we prove that our dreams are any more real than our waking lives?

Throughout history, people have struggled with the notion of what is real. An ancient Chinese philosopher, Chuang-tzu, dreamed he was a butterfly. He awoke suddenly and pondered whether he was a man who dreamed of being a butterfly - or whether he was a butterfly dreaming he was a man. The paradox reflects the Taoists belief in the balance and play of yin and yang, the union of opposites.

The ancient Greeks, chief among them Socrates, struggled with proving the existence of a "waking" versus a "dreaming" reality at any given moment. This question, "Are dreams real?" (And is waking life real?) is about as difficult to answer as "What is the sound of one hand clapping?" Fortunately, we're not going to try to resolve that thorny issue. Despite all of our high-tech advances in studying how the brain works and how and why we sleep and dream, the more metaphysical> questions of sleeping and waking reality remain the territory of philosophers - and dreamers.

Metaphysics is the philosophical exploration of the nature of reality and being.

At some point or other, we've all been spooked by the "realness" of our dreams. Think back to when you were a kid. Didn't you have dreams - both good ones and bad ones - that felt utterly real? And didn't it take some time and some persuasion from your folks to convince you that what you dreamed wasn't real? In our culture, as we grow up we learn to differentiate between inner and out reality, mostly at the expense of the former. The truth is, don't you still have the occasional dream where you wake up to do a double take? Did it happen? Or was it just a dream...?

Going Back for a Subconscious Replay

Many researchers believe that our dreams are a way of revisiting the events - and the emotions associated with them - of our daily lives. Often we simply don't have the time to process the stimuli around us. Nor could we possibly have the energy or ability to digest everything that comes at us during the day. (The old defense mechanism comes into play here, protecting us from the emotional overload.) And so, it's at night in our dreams that we rehash thoughts and feelings we've placed on hold.

Say, for example, every time you see a Nike ad you remember that you need a new pair of running shoes. But you just never get around to buying them. So you dream that you and the guy in the Nike ad are competing in the decathlon with 1912 Olympic champion Jim Thorpe. And you lose all ten events. By conjuring up Jim Thorpe, and losing miserably to him, your mind is cleverly giving you the message to buy those shoes so you'll be back in the games with new shoes to give you the competitive edge you sorely need!

Going Back for a Conscious Replay

When you replay your dream in your conscious mind, what happens to the dream? Is there a difference between the dream itself and your waking analysis of it? Montague Ullman, a renowned dream expert, tells us that "Dreaming is an intrinsic part of the sleep cycle that recurs every ninety minutes during sleep and is associated with distinct psychological changes that signify a state of arousal. The dream is a remembrance in the waking state of whatever we can bring back from the previous night's [dream] episodes. The two are not the same."

To what extent do we "fill in the blanks" of our dreams when we wake up, and is that a good thing or a bad thing? Why do we do that? We believe that what we choose to add to our dreams is very interesting and potentially useful because it gives us clues about how we wish things to be. Or because by embellishing or continuing our dreams consciously, we can resolve issues provoked by the dream that allow us to become more comfortable with their messages. With dream work practice, we can begin to separate what the true dream is from what we add in later to round the dream out, process, and understand it.

Daydreamers

What's the difference between dreaming at night and our daydreams? When we're driving the same route to work day after day and we realize, one morning, that we have no recollection of the actual drive to work, no recollection of driving over the bridge or through the tunnel, and all that we recall is the fantasy about excelling in our macrame' class, can we consider that daydream an actual dream? Well, yes and no. Certainly it feels that we have more control over the story lines of our daydreams. Remember the last place your mind escaped to during that boring status report meeting at the office? Didn't you suddenly whisk yourself away to a ski lodge? A deserted beach? Or did you find yourself practicing your Academy Award acceptance speech? Perhaps your daydreams held a little more anxiety and your mind wandered to horrible thoughts about getting fired for not paying attention to the boring meeting.

At any rate, there seems to be a big difference between day and night dreams, even though the physical state we enter when we daydream (as with the morning commute to work) has much in common with a hypnotic state, which, in turn, possesses certain similarities to a sleep state. However, different parts of the brain are activated in sleep than in waking life. And, when you get right down to it, when we're daydreaming we're not physiologically sleeping.

When we're asleep, we're psychologically more vulnerable than when we daydream. In sleep, our defense mechanisms are down. We shed the mask we wear in society. Perhaps what is expressed in night dreaming is a better representation of who we are as a whole, not just our waking wishes and fears. Feelings and thoughts we may not be so eager to take credit for in waking life often surface boldly in the landscape of our dreams.

Another thing to consider is the language of daydreams versus night dreams. Night dreams speak to us in the language of symbol and metaphor. Words just don't suffice to convey the countless powerful feelings that symbols do. These symbols often are chosen from something that's caught our attention during the day and that triggers a memory, conflict, or concern in us that resonates both in the present and in the past.

Defense mechanism a psychological term coined by Sigmund Freud and amplified by his daughter Anna Freud, describes ways in which we protect ourselves from anxiety by keeping intolerable or unacceptable impulses from conscious awareness. In other words, we don't know we're employing them. Some examples of defense mechanisms are: denial, suppression, intellectualization, sublimation, and projection.

How Often Do You Dream?

Sleep experts tell us that we all have several dreams each night. So you might ask, "Why can't I remember a single one?" Alcohol consumption, certain antibiotics, fever, lack of sleep, and unconscious fears about the content of your dreams all affect dream recall, and perhaps dream content. Scientist Francis Crick, who pioneered research on the structure of DNA, takes the position that maybe we're supposed to forget our dreams - that dreams are a way of cleansing the brain of extraneous information. Perhaps you remember only the dreams that are really scary or upsetting or, if you're lucky, fantastically wonderful. Could it be that you're the type of person who thinks you don't dream much, but when you recall it, you always seem to have the same dream? You know, the one in which you appear naked, except for your bedroom slippers, in your third grade play, Pocohontas?

Because of the science of sleep, we tend to dream more toward the end of our sleep period. We're also more likely to remember those dreams we had closest to awakening, or at least remember those dreams most easily. Makes sense, don't it? With a little effort, you can boost dream recall, and we'll show you how to do it too.

In the Old Testament, Pharaoh freed Joseph, sans coat, from his prison dungeon to interpret two of Pharaoh's dreams. In the first, seven cows, gaunt and lean, ate seven sleek and fat cows. In the second dream, seven ripe ears of corn swallowed up seven shriveled ears of corn. Joseph divined God's plan of seven years of blight and famine for Egypt. Pharaoh shrewdly stocked up on the ancient version of canned goods.

In Black and White or in Living Color?

We spend about one third of our lives sleeping (so if you're lucky enough to live to be 90, that's 30 years!), yet most of us don't spend much time wondering about our dreaming night life (or dreaming day life if you work at night). Frankly, we're too busy with the tasks of waking life to regard sleep as much more than a much-needed rest for the mind and body.

But since you're reading this, you're beginning to believe there may be something more to dreaming: a whole world that you create each night when you close your eyes. Paying attention to that unconscious dream life can ultimately be enriching to your hectic waking life.

Now let's talk about the way you dream. Aside from the fact that you must be asleep in order to dream, there are lots of dream variations. For instance, do you dream in black and white? In color? Popular beliefs tell us that most people dream in color, some in black and white. No one is sure why this occurs, just as no one is sure why a certain percentage of the population is left-handed. In our experience, we've found that most people report dreaming in color except when they are very depressed. Then they tend to recall fewer dreams, and those dreams have little color (except for nightmares, which can be vividly colorful). Some people report dreaming exclusively in black and white when they first begin paying attention to their dreams, either in therapy or in individual dreamwork. As they continue to concentrate on remembering dreams, many often report that they begin to dream in color.

As you begin to take note of your dreams, start to think about some other over-arching components of your nightly adventures. Do you tend to dream about people you know, about strangers, or about famous people? Do you talk in your sleep or wake up laughing? Do you often watch the action from the sidelines or are you a main participant in your dreams? You may find that as you think more about your dreams and their basic themes, the ways your dreams make you feel and your questions about them will multiply rapidly. You've just entered a dream world - a world your mind creates anew each night when you fall asleep.

According to Robert L. Van de Castle, Ph.D., a prominent dream expert, scientists have suggested that we'll each have 100,000 dreams over the course of our lives. Then average life span in America is about 75 years. That's about 1,300 dreams per year, or three and a half dreams every night.

"I go to the movies every single night - in my dreams!"

"Are my dreams important, or are they just the result of eating spicy food fright before bed?"

"Wait a sec - you mean to tell me that REM isn't just a music group?!"

Are you curious about your dreams - about why you remember them or not, about what they mean or don't mean? If so, join the club. For thousands of years dreams have been a source of wonder, fear, and speculation.

Before you can begin to decipher your dreams, it's important to understand the very basics about your dreaming life, learn how different cultures throughout history have regarded dreaming, and discover how well you're sleeping (or not) and at what points in the night you're apt to dream.

Are You Dreaming?

So, what are dreams? Such a simple question to ask, but so hard to answer. The difficulty did not start recently; it has been answered differently throughout the ages. In biblical times, human beings regarded dreams as prophecies. During the Middle Ages, dreams threatened people as possible messages from Satan, and rather than get caught red-handed entertaining the devil after-hours, most dreamers kept their dreams to themselves.

Dreams have been viewed as portals to the other side, messages from the departed, a springboard for creative inspirations, or messages from parts of ourselves that we tune out during our waking hours. Today, a lot of people dismiss dreams as the result of too much pizza eaten too close to bedtime. Some researchers see dreams as our mind's way of simply cleaning off our hard drives to make disc space for future data input. Some reluctant dreamers will say dreams are no more than the sleeping mind's nifty way of incorporating the sounds of, for example, the cement mixer outside our window into our sleeping reverie, preserving our chance at eight hours of beauty rest.

In a recent highly unscientific poll, a select group of people were asked how they defined dreams:

* "Dreams are the movies I see what I go to bed."

* "They are obviously messages, but usually I can't decipher them."

* "Dreams are my deepest thoughts, surfacing under cover of night, whether I like it or not."

* "Dreams are infomercials and I'm the host."

* "Dreams? What dreams?"

How we define dreams - and whether we believe in our dreams - determines how we use (or don't use) our personal dream knowledge. It's hard to pinpoint exactly what dreams are. The age-old search for a precise definition will probably continue for as long as the question: "Who Am I?" remains a viable topic for philosophers, theologians, psychologists, biologists, and the rest of us ordinary dreams. Can we simply decide that dreams serve an important function in our lives? It's safe to say, yes. Like breathing, eating, and making love, dreaming is part of human nature. It must be important.

From Socrates to Descartes to Jung to contemporary New-Age thinkers such as Deepak Chopra or sleep researchers such as Harvard's Dr. Martin Moore-Ede, humankind has explored the nature and significance of dreams and sleep. We'll explore various dream theories and dream types, so that you can make your own decision and develop your own set of tools for better understanding your dreams - and yourself.

This past week I've had two different dreams where the exact same person is in both.

All I really remember of the first dream is talking to this person. They are wearing a black hoodie with the hood up and shadowing their eyes, there's heavy padding and brace of a severely broken nose and the rest of the cheeks and jaw are covered in gauze for burns. I don't remember if they said anything or not, so I had no idea on gender. I feel as if I don't know who it is either.

The second dream - two nights ago - is a bit weirder. I'm watching from outside of my body as me, another female, and the burn victim are sitting side by side on a couch talking. Most of conversation's nonsense, but the third party asks the burn victim how they're holding up. They bodily turn and say that I've been a great help to them, pulls me to them with a gauze-wrapped hand and kisses me.

I know that everyday people/things recurring doesn't mean anything, but I have never known anyone that badly burned, both physically and psychologically. I can't find an interpretation of a person being burned in the dictionaries I have.

but the most alarming thing to me is I'm not concerned with figuring out who it is, but why they've shown up twice now.

Sleeping Prophecy
An Introduction to Dream Interpretation

Human beings spend an average of one or two hours a night lost in another world. In the parallel world of dreams, pictures, places and sounds combine in ways unlike our waking realities. While we are not always sure what to make of our dream lives, it is clear that dreams hold the key to greater self-knowledge and a connection to the collective unconscious. Through accessing folk wisdom about the topic, we can begin our own journey into the depths of our sleeping selves.

Four thousand years ago primal societies saw the dream realm as not only an extension of reality but a more powerful world. Ancient societies saw dreams as largely prophetic. Correctly interpreted, they often helped decide the next course of political and military action and aided in diagnosing diseases. For some Native American and Mexican civilizations, dreams were a means to connect with ancestors who had died and they also served as a way that wisdom could be passed to new generations. In the early 19th century, Sigmund Freud revived the study of dreams as he made dream interpretation an important tool within psychotherapy.

Dream interpretation continues today often employing methods of interpretation gleaned from folk and psychoanalytic sources. Tradition tells us that dreams of a prophetic nature usually occur during the deepest part of your night's sleep, between 2am and 7am. After awaking, a dreamer can often recall the major feature or fact within the dream's narrative and at that point it helps to consult a guide to dream symbols or a specialist in interpretation.

By connecting the details to the dream's major features, one can create meaning out of what initially appeared cryptic. For example, a dream about a dog indicates good luck is on the way while dreaming about a seemingly harmless package of cookies can indicate that you are headed for a dispute with someone. A stomachache can foretell success while an exposed abdomen may point to the fact that someone close to you will betray your confidence. Using more modern interpretive techniques can also aid in lending meaning to dream life. Chase dreams are said to stem from feelings of anxiety in waking life while nudity in a dream symbolizes the feeling of being emotionally exposed or caught off guard.

As you begin your journey into the internal world of dreams, it is helpful to keep a dream diary. After consulting an online dream guide, you can add interpretive information to your journal. By writing down your dreams as they occur, you can discover patterns that may help you to analyze your emotional state and uncover your own prophetic powers.

For more information visit Swoon.com